My story so far

Hey y'all.

I wanted to create this blog as for the past year i have been concentrating on recovering from chronic fatigue syndrome/postviral fatigue, following a very bad episode of glandular fever.
I would like to share with you all my story of how i am getting better and improving and the big issues for me that i have worked hard on over the past year. I want to share with you in this blog positivity, tips of nutrition and healing and be as frank and as honest as possible about the things that really have helped me.
My story starts back in September 2011. Following a summer holiday to Malia with some friends i came back with glandular fever. YAY!! To this day, i do believe this horrible illness was the start of all my problems. I had this quite severely with hepatitus, which really affected my liver turning me as yellow as Marge Simpson. Not nice. I remember just feeling really anitsocial and wanting to just curl up in a ball and shut everything else away, but after a month or so, i had to come back to school to continue my A levels. As i had been away, i had a lot to catch up on which i think really stressed me out, and looking back i can see my body still needed a lot of time to rest and heal properly. But i thought to myself, i'm no longer unwell or yellow anymore - pull yourself together! So, i decided to join a bloody dance class, going to the gym all the time trying to get a good figure, trying to keep up with school work and socialising and just PUSHING THROUGH that eventually as i was revising, my body simply gave up on me and in May 2012 i crashed out.
I remember just revising so so hard, lying on my bed clammy and my heart beating at a million miles an hour and i just thought to myself - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?
I was so unbelievably tired, and my brain felt like it was on fire. My muscles ached, i had really bad digestive issues, headaches, nausea, feeling really hot then really cold, muscles twitches, breathing difficulties, dizziness and fainting spells and i jumped out of my skin everytime the phone rang. I just couldn't relax, and i felt on hyper alert all of the time. My body was screaming at me that i could not continue like this.
I happened to crash midway through my exams ( convenient!) so i basically was a zombie for the last few exams.. looking back i dont know how i got through it! It was an awful time.
That summer is basically one big horrible blur. Picking up my A level results i was convinced that i had failed however miraculously i did achieve the grades i needed. (going to newcastle next year woop woo :) 
However, there was no way on gods earth i could go to uni that year - i couldn't even walk down the bloody street! That was when i had a good sit down with my parents and told them i needed a year off. I would find a way out of this, somewhere deep down inside i knew that if i could get like this, then i could find a way back to the old normal healthy me, I just needed to backtrack. ( At the time i don't think i thought about this as calmly!).
So, guess what i did? I popped into google "chronic fatigue syndrome" and all of this scary stuff about people living with this for their whole lives came up and how noone ever recovers. TERRIFIED, i shut off the computer, and i think i cried for a good couple of days, until with defiance i typed in RECOVERY CHRONIC FATIGUE. That is when i came across The Optimum Health Clinic, which i am pretty sure saved my life at that moment. It is a fantastic clinic dedicated to the recovery of chronic fatigue sufferers. I signed on the 90 Day Programme in September 2012, and have not looked back. The support they give is massive, and i met some people going through the same thing, which i think was really key for me. I just wanted to know i was not alone in this.

The worst stage, by far, was the "Tired and Wired" stage. I went through severe insomnia for months, and had to listen to sleep tapes every night just to get to sleep and took meds. It was just surviving and getting through each day, but as i began to properly relax, and just observe what was happening, i began to gain a sense of stability and my anxiety began to release, and for the first time in a long time i relaxed.
I am at the stage now where i would say i am around 80 or 90 percent recovered although i still do need a lot of support and help. Let me put it straight - chronic fatigue folks, ain't a walk in the park! Its bloody awful. It takes more strength than you ever thought you would have in you to get through it, but if you just let it play out, letting kind words of others sink in and be self compassionate with yourself it will help an enormous amount. 
So hello everyone, i hope we can all sail along this recovery journey together.
In my following posts i will go into more detail of the things that have helped me along the way.
Love and peace to you all,
Soph x

Some sites that may be of interest to you:
Secrets to Recovery - a great online free resource with TONS of information on how to recover from CFS.
The Optimum Health Community - a bit like facebook for ill people! Its a great place to share recovery journeys with others, and give much needed support!!